He shows less but that doesn´t mean...

This entry is about what I´ve learned from a Tonny Robbins video in which he explained to a very confused and histrionic wife that her husband didn´t show his feelings as much as she did but that didn´t mean he felt less...

What did you guys feel when you read this? Well, I lost my breath... Of course I am the one in my relationships that shows more and abuses the fact that my dear husband doesn´t shows as much as I do.... Luckily I think I´m not as confused as the poor woman from the video was but it hit my very soul nevertheless..  We expressive people abuse our histrionical and verbal abilities to believe that we are more deep and sensitive that those who remain silent mostly for being overwhelmed, or  in order to avoid conflict, or maybe to balance the argument or because they can't find the words that fit their injured o guilty or ashamed or loving or logical soul....

In fact my reflection goes further this Sunday afternoon... What happens when "weeeeee the expreeeeeesive ones" shut up for a minute...?

If we remain silent in the middle of the conflict then when are able to feel deeper... See the contradiction? Feel it? It hits right on the heart...  Most of us, the expressive ones, feel more functional than the quiet ones... most of the time we are mistaken... 

Lets befriend pause and silence, lets take always a mini break or a great break between the first emotional impulse and the first communication...we will end acknowledging that most of the time we forget the main issue...that of course means that it wasn't "that" important right?  At least no so important to burst it on the face of our beloved ones.  So you will end feeling more deeply, being less superficial and respecting more others and their emotional space... Does that appeal to you? Well some of you guys would maybe say: “sounds fair, i´ll give it a shot, or I will change my impulsive behaviour”... and Many of us would answer: “Thank you SO much”.  But then, some of you would say: “No thanks, I´m pretty confortable without repressing any of my wonderful personality and I shall go on forever and ever true to my impulse self”...well to you  I have no more to say but to your beloved ones I certainly can recommend something...

Beloved ones of the impulsive ones... follow my husband´s strategy:  Anytime I text him or call him or tell him passionately about anything that bothers or urges me that doesn´t sound REALLY urgent... he answers:  “Ok dear, we will talk about it at night or tomorrow or in a special weekend date, so we can address it properly... “   with his calmest and loving tone of voice...

What happens, most of the times is that I solve it myself or forget it... the rest that REALLY involves him, I address more calmly and positively at night time or the next day or at our weekend date... 

So, even we, the ones so in love with our impulsive and impositive self, can acknowledge that sometimes, or many times, we make a fuss, a big deal, a lot of noise, about anything and disrupt our beloved ones peace...

Thanks be given profusely to Anthony Robbins who inspired this contribution and to my dear husband who accepts me the way I am and knows how to deal with me!